19/7/2023
It is the morning of the day we travel to London (UK) from Toronto, Canada, for the funeral of my beloved brother-in-law Athan, Dr Arulraj Joseph. Through the 35 years I have lived in Canada, my husband and I have made numerous trips to London. However, this is the first time, I have not been at the receiving end of many calls, emails and texts from Athan, asking details of our itinerary. This was so, even on our last trip just a few weeks ago. A sad reminder to us that he is no more.
Over the 60+ years of marriage and more of Athan and Akka, Athan had been a key part of each of his wife’s brothers and sisters’ lives. In my case, he has been there for all my life and more. As to my Akka’s chagrin, I was conceived during their courting days. Over the years Athan took great pleasure in relating the story of Akka’s discomfiture with my parents over their late in life folly! I am never known in my family circles by my given name, Noeline Nirmala, that is because my Athan called me Nimsy from the beginning.
Athan, like a father, always took great pride in his children and grandchildren which is understandable, given their achievements. But Athan’s love and generosity went beyond to all of us (the Rayappu family), his own siblings, nephews and nieces, and many others. This is very apparent when he proudly talks about each of them to others. We in turn were always very proud to relate our modest achievements to him and receive the proverbial “pat on the back”.
I will always remember him and be grateful for all that he has done for me over my entire life, from encouraging a professional designation, career advancements, initially in the UK and then in Canada. Most of all in my year of “annus horribilis”, he was there for me, both literally and figuratively. Following my diagnosis of breast cancer in 2003, Athan made 3 trips to Toronto, to meet with the doctors and just to be with me, Chandran and my very young children at that time. His positivity towards the situation, was a key factor in helping me cope and overcome. Thank you Athan.
Athan had visited Toronto, along with Akka and on his own numerous times (by my count over 30). Needless to say, the attraction was not the many majestic landscapes of Canada (although he did visit many), it was to visit family and friends and enjoy the culinary talents of his sisters Jegasothy and Rajes as well as my sister Rajes. He loved to go driving around town with my husband Chandran, buy naughty Tamil food from the grocers and take-out places, buy lottery tickets (with not a single win to their credit over the years) and generally regale us with old stories, whether that be his days at St. Patricks, or the medical college as well as recollecting stories of times with my parents, “Rayappu uncle and Rayappu aunty”.
As many of you know Akka and Athan are renowned for their beautiful garden in their 4 homes, The Green, Melrose, Parkhill and Sprucedale. They enjoyed pottering in our modest garden in Toronto. Athan’s pride was the lawn, only straight lines for him. They have passed on this passion to Chandran and I. We had the pleasure of hosting his 70th birthday in our back garden with many of his dear family and friends in 2006.
Just like a garden need looking after, Athan and Akka have nurtured many around them to be the best that they can be. They have by their example passed the importance of taking care of others in need to all of us, whether that be family or the broader community. Athan we hope that we can carry on in that tradition, to the very end, as you did.
To Manik and Rukshi, my heartfelt condolence, Dad was very proud of you as well as his grandchildren, Maya, Jessica, Stefan and Ben. Manik and Jane, thank you for bringing Dad on his last trip to Toronto in September 2022, despite the many difficulties. It may have been vexing at times to share your Dad with the Rayappu clan (we are a big bunch), we are grateful to your generosity Manik and Rukshi. Along with you we will always remember and mourn his loss as someone who was close to our hearts and most of all a loving and generous husband to our sister.
May his soul rest in peace.
Over the 60+ years of marriage and more of Athan and Akka, Athan had been a key part of each of his wife’s brothers and sisters’ lives. In my case, he has been there for all my life and more. As to my Akka’s chagrin, I was conceived during their courting days. Over the years Athan took great pleasure in relating the story of Akka’s discomfiture with my parents over their late in life folly! I am never known in my family circles by my given name, Noeline Nirmala, that is because my Athan called me Nimsy from the beginning.
Athan, like a father, always took great pride in his children and grandchildren which is understandable, given their achievements. But Athan’s love and generosity went beyond to all of us (the Rayappu family), his own siblings, nephews and nieces, and many others. This is very apparent when he proudly talks about each of them to others. We in turn were always very proud to relate our modest achievements to him and receive the proverbial “pat on the back”.
I will always remember him and be grateful for all that he has done for me over my entire life, from encouraging a professional designation, career advancements, initially in the UK and then in Canada. Most of all in my year of “annus horribilis”, he was there for me, both literally and figuratively. Following my diagnosis of breast cancer in 2003, Athan made 3 trips to Toronto, to meet with the doctors and just to be with me, Chandran and my very young children at that time. His positivity towards the situation, was a key factor in helping me cope and overcome. Thank you Athan.
Athan had visited Toronto, along with Akka and on his own numerous times (by my count over 30). Needless to say, the attraction was not the many majestic landscapes of Canada (although he did visit many), it was to visit family and friends and enjoy the culinary talents of his sisters Jegasothy and Rajes as well as my sister Rajes. He loved to go driving around town with my husband Chandran, buy naughty Tamil food from the grocers and take-out places, buy lottery tickets (with not a single win to their credit over the years) and generally regale us with old stories, whether that be his days at St. Patricks, or the medical college as well as recollecting stories of times with my parents, “Rayappu uncle and Rayappu aunty”.
As many of you know Akka and Athan are renowned for their beautiful garden in their 4 homes, The Green, Melrose, Parkhill and Sprucedale. They enjoyed pottering in our modest garden in Toronto. Athan’s pride was the lawn, only straight lines for him. They have passed on this passion to Chandran and I. We had the pleasure of hosting his 70th birthday in our back garden with many of his dear family and friends in 2006.
Just like a garden need looking after, Athan and Akka have nurtured many around them to be the best that they can be. They have by their example passed the importance of taking care of others in need to all of us, whether that be family or the broader community. Athan we hope that we can carry on in that tradition, to the very end, as you did.
To Manik and Rukshi, my heartfelt condolence, Dad was very proud of you as well as his grandchildren, Maya, Jessica, Stefan and Ben. Manik and Jane, thank you for bringing Dad on his last trip to Toronto in September 2022, despite the many difficulties. It may have been vexing at times to share your Dad with the Rayappu clan (we are a big bunch), we are grateful to your generosity Manik and Rukshi. Along with you we will always remember and mourn his loss as someone who was close to our hearts and most of all a loving and generous husband to our sister.
May his soul rest in peace.
